2010/07/09

Should I? Can I?

The reason I choose to rent a room and stay outside is because I no need spend times to travel from home to college everyday, I rather use the times for other purposes like sleeping or assignment. Yet, I can hang out with friends sometimes... But very very unlucky and unfortunately, a robber broke into the house that I'm staying now, TBR this Tuesday and stole my laptop away together with my friend's, total 3 laptops. This is my first time and first experience to encounter this kind of situation after so long I rented a room. And I not even have the chance to say "Goodbye" to my laptop that accompany me less than 2 years.

The first thing in my mind once after laptop was stolen is how I suppose to pass up my assignment this Thursday?! Second, all my designs and assignments from very first semester until now are totally gone. So, how I show my portfolio without any design once I'm going to work? Third, my favorite songs, those photos that have different of memories, every single words that you speak to me, any record between you and me... all disappeared and gone...

No more laptop, nothing that I can do now. The first day is really tiring for me since I woke up early for class that day and go for report to the police until evening. Every night, I found it's really very boring for me doing nothing there. I can't touch up my design that need to submit soon, I can't online to facebook-ing and read your profile or blog again, I can't reach to you even that's just an unreal world.

The next day I woke up, I have no mood and very sleepy. And I don't know how to face my assignment deadline and my lecturer. Suddenly, I was thinking to STOP my study or just WITHDRAW now. I think of this because I don't want to burden my parents to give me money to buy a new laptop now. I rather go out to work again and buy it myself again. Besides, I was thinking of going out for work as a junior designer that can "rebuild" my portfolio again where I can't gain back the quantity that I want from just studying Advance because there are many theories to study instead of design work.

However, there are also some reasons stop me from taking any further action to withdraw from study. First, there is group assignments that I can't just leave up and walked away like that. Next, maybe it's very hard for me to gain a work since I can't show any portfolio during interview. And lastly, is this I REALLY wanted? This is really heavy and hard decision to make because it will changes your life entirely. So, I will hold it until the end of the semester. At least let me finish the group assignment with others and finish the exam...

I can't sleep very well this few days because thinking all of this. Is me thinking too much and too worried about the future? Maybe I should stop thinking of withdraw and keep on studying hard for Advance, then only think about the future? Can I? Should I?

Haiz... I think I need someone's guide again... someone's advice...

没有评论:

发表评论