2013/03/24

不要放弃

听完朋友叹气的话
有时候我也不知道
该如何再安慰跟鼓励她了

在UUM大学毕业的她
在一间中型印刷公司当唯一的设计师
过后我也是因为在同一老板的公司上班互相认识了

在那间公司待了将近两年吧
就同我跟另外两位同事因为不爽公司就辞职了
无业期间偶尔就做一些freelance
直到在这个月才找到新工作
而且还是一间刚设立的新分行
所以
包括她在内也只有4个员工
而她也是唯一的设计师
还听说刚应征不久的行销员在一星期后就辞职了
结果就变成跟前公司差不多一样
由于是唯一的设计师
所以要满足不同客户要求是一件很难的事
而且就算赶工也就只有她一人
有时候还要被总行的艺术总监批评作的不好
真的是苦了她

因为worthy book的freelance
所以我们又一起工作
就在那天午饭时间
她诉说了她的近况
她问起我
有没有想过找别的工作
还说银行职员的福利有多好
之类的东西

老实说
她那一个问题
把我给问住了
原来我开始动摇跟犹豫着
我动摇不是因为其他工作薪水福利有多好
而是仔细想想
除了设计我还能靠什么赚钱生活呢
以我的个性
很难再找到比设计带来给我的自由更好的工作吧
虽然现在设计没有如我想象中那么可以放任自由
不过我还至少可以从设计作我想做
还有我能够做的事

虽然在这现实的生活
觉得自己还是那么天真
不过我就想做回自己
不想因为别人而改变初衷
至少我还没找到值得我这么做的人

安慰的话
我不多说了
只是
要是你不满你的现在
那你得做出改变
虽然很多时候身不由己
我也只能说
不要放弃

因为觉得放弃
就等于放弃自己
初衷,理想,梦想也会没有
会变得不是自己了

所以
不要放弃
做你想做的
做你能够做的
继续前进吧
朋友









darkest thinking

无聊的时候
就会胡思乱想

啊啊啊啊
stop thinking, the darkest side of me








2013/03/23

MARCH

there are a lot of things happened in March
i could say it's busy month for me after the CNY
everything back to usual and busier than before

TAP WEEK
I'm not really know what it means or
what it stands for
but after I experienced it
it's like a group activities that all mccanian from different department
divided into 10 group and comes to know each other
understanding and communicate
telematch and group performing
the highest score among the teams will be rewarded by cash
and this activities will be held for a week once annually
maybe AA used to has this kind of activities
but it's very first time for me

Fortunately and unfortunately
I was grouped with our ECD, CCO, CFO, one of the AE, one of the AD, 
brand director, 3 senior senior from brand team and 1 senior designer
lastly, the FA that newly join the agency, that's me

First day
we were having dinner together, sitting close to each other
and it's introduce yourself session
 to share your experiences and anything about you
well, compare to them
i don't have the experiencessssss they have
and they shared about their own family, wife, kids, children
but sadly i'm still single and sometimes i not even know myself
(hahaha... funny)
so you can imagine
they were talked more about 5 mins
while i only spoke for 3 mins
furthermore, my english wasn't that good
especially without any preparation
(fyi, our newly CCO is British from UK and most of them are elder and English educated)
anyway, i've done my best
hopefully they understand me... hopefully

Second and Third day
we were going to set up our group family tree with a theme
and you know the whole TAP week was carried along our working hours
so don't expect higher status member to do the task together
as they were too busy with their jobs, clients, meeting and so on
even i was busy but still i need to work it out myself
as you know the hierarchy, i'm the bottom level
so you need to stay at office without OT paid
to finish what my leader (AD) planned
well, it's not a tough task at all
just print out, cutting paper, sticking
but still cost my time to finish it
good thing is you can saw many different last minute works from other group

Forth day
the telematch
the whole game is set in the whole building of Wisma LYL
which means every group need to complete all the task at different level floor
and we're requested to gather in the office for game briefing in 6.45am
since the games are allocated at different floor
so we are rushing up and down by using the staircase
well, it's really good exercise in the early morning
but after the game end
we were going back to work with exhausted and sleepy mood
somemore we had to stay back for performance rehearsal for Friday's night
so it was a tired and sleepy day for me

Fifth day
as usual we're busy with our job
and even the rehearsal and script were also last minute
so our overall performance on that night was so so
and i was enjoying the rest of group performance
they all were really really funny and creative in their own way
i would say it was a really great night on that day

after everything 
all the score added up and we got the winner for the TAP week
of course we're not the winner but also not the last one among 10
what else after that
definitely a party night will be drew up for everyone
a party night at our pantry dining area
can you imagine it?
well, we do have a balcony that connect to that pantry
that can fit that a lot of people
so no more waiting
they rocked that night with wine, beer, cuisine, music and dance
(just like clubbing)

for me, i'm not enjoy the noisiness, crowded and alcoholic
so i just skip the party myself and mock up photo album for farewell of our ECD and CEO
(sometimes i just feel hard to get along with them because i'm not their type)

and that's all for the TAP week
oh yah...
there was an evaluate session for those who has worked at least 1 year in the company
so i'm not be chosen









Worthy Book Ladies Edition
a coupon book with a lot of great deal specially for woman
this was actually my freelance job
that require me to work for them in their office during the weekend
due to the deadline of the publishing book which is the end of the March
so my ex-colleague and i have to work with them all the weekend
Saturday and Sunday from 10am - 10pm
this even worse than my FA job
just because for rushing deadline
amend, amend, amend and amend
things that i do for the whole weekend
after the book published was thinking to terminate the contract with them
very costing time and less income
not worth at all even they free us lunch and dinner
still not the suitable job for me








Back to my FA job
after few months working there
i did reduced my mistake
however still not reach my target 0 mistake per month
and the most important thing is
i still can't get along with my colleague even from the same department
maybe the age problem... and maybe myself problem too

CI, CI, CI
the corporate identity that we have to follow all the time
and because of it
some designs are not good as i expected from designer and visualizer 
but no choice
FA is doing FA job, nothing more
so bored and feel sleepy for me

i'm not sure how long i will be there as FA
just thinking there is not much helping me to improve my portfolio
nothing to insert from there
anyway it did slightly improve my Ps skill

i guess will upload some photos of my office next time
since it's totally different working environment compare with others









CONCLUSION
March is tired month for me yet it's not over
so no much go out and activities with my dear friend
so i gonna miss you, my friends

yah... life is short
so i'm going to do something that i never done before
just to enjoy and experience what's the life
all the best wishes for what ever you do
support, support and support














2013/03/02

something

i didn't sleep well for yesterday night
or should i say this morning
after a gathering with my old friends
till reached home around 3am
i thought it would be easily fall asleep for me after a long day
but something bothering me
or just the cup of classic hazelnut latte
keep me half awake the whole dream



a friend planned work in Australia
to earn enough money and even start his new life there
a decision he made surprise me because he's a wistful and care for family person
earn money in the first place, a shortcut he think to earn more money
and explore the new country in the same time
well, it would be a wow from me for him
as it probably won't happen on me



money-salary-income
a number figure that everyone wish for more and never less
a debit to start a relationship
a sense of security provider
a way to show off in social
a unit to measure happiness today
is it all true? more or less
materialistic and the realistic
it conquer most people's mind at present



other than just money
is there something else that we live for it?
maybe i'm still looking for it
but there is a quote
"life's not about finding yourself but creating yourself"
yes, maybe i should create myself
like chance



to be the money's owner
and not the money slaver 
remember





to my friends
i wish all the best for your journey
a part of your life
just fight for it
same to me





for me
i guess not the money or income i should bother
but the self value of myself is my first place
and relationship will be the next